Recently I was in a conversation with two of my friends, one who works for a major corporation and the other for a university. Both were whining about the politics of their jobs, the unnecessary busy work, and their belittling bosses. I sat there silently thinking. “I love my job- and my boss: ME!” Though being an independent entrepreneur has its drawbacks (such as my non-existent vacation pay, sick leave, and retirement plan), I thrive in an atmosphere where I get to choose what I do in my work, whom I work with, how much and when I work. Oh, and you can’t beat my commute! Besides being able to hear music and interact with wonderful people, my job as a private music teacher certainly have its perks!
I Love My Boss
October 10th, 2011Coming back to music
August 31st, 2011My younger son Kyle started cello and piano lessons when he was in second grade. He stopped cello in 9th grade (which was like a knife to my heart!) and continued piano until he graduated. Since then he has seemed more interested in video games than classical music. Now he is a senior in college and asked me if I would pay for him to take piano lessons. Would I! I’m so thrilled he’s interested again. So parents, take heart, just when you wonder if all the lessons meant anything to your child, they just may surprise you!
Big Brothers and Sisters
August 31st, 2011My annual Flute Festival retreat was last week. It was magical. I had 22 of my students for 4 days in the mountains. The youngest was 7 and the oldest was 17.
One of the best ideas I ever had was to have “Flute Buddies.” Each day I paired a younger and older student. They had to eat one meal together and perform their piece for each other. My older students were so sweet to the younger ones and the younger ones fell in love with the older ones. When I asked one little third grade girl,. “How was your swim today? She enthusiastically answered, “I swam with Fred (age 17) almost the whole time!”
Try to find some ways in your studio to pair kids of different ages. When the younger ones hear the older students play they can easily visualize what they can sound like in a few years. They also see these older students having fun with music and it makes them think that music is pretty darn cool. The older kids really take an interest in the younger ones and they too can see how far they’ve come and get a little practice being teachers themselves.
We talk about the students in my studio as being a flute family and last week they really were.
The Best Job in the World?
June 24th, 2011A few years ago my husband and I went to visit his cousin who is a farmer. He was plowing the fields when we arrived so we went to see him. Seated in his air conditioned tractor he was plowing up the row and down the next up the next row and down the next and up and down.. row after row, day after day, month after month. How could he stand it?? At dinner he asked me, “So Bonnie are you still teaching flute lessons after all these years?” Yes!” I enthusiastically answered.”Doesn’t that get awfully boring?”
Happy Mother’s (and Father’s) Day
June 11th, 2011Mother’s Day is a special celebration in my studio. It is a gala event where all students (even those who only know 2 notes) play in ensembles, dress in costumes, interview each other on stage, and perform little skits. (You can see some of the performances on my website.) We dedicate the gala to our mothers and I provide gifts, have the students write cards, take pictures of the students and their moms, and end with a big potluck dinner. It is a tremendous amount of work for me but it is a way I can show my appreciation to the parents who make it all possible.
Having two sons of my own who played piano and a string instrument, I found that being a music parent was one of the hardest parts of parenting. Insisting on a practice schedule, sitting with them during practice, transportation to lessons and attending many of them, paying for lessons, contest fees, music, concert clothes…And most of all listening to them whining.
“I’m too tired to practice”, or too hungry, thirsty, cold, I have to go to the bathroom. I’m too busy… In fact I have a whole skit titled “Practice Wars” that I perform at some of my speeches and at the end I confess that I didn’t really write it- I just copied it from my sons!
My sons are now in their last years of college and in the end they agree they loved their teachers and lessons, they’re glad they continued and they want to keep playing. (Thank goodness!!)
Providing the support for your children to be musicians can be gratifying but it can also be irritating, tiring, and exasperating. BUT it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child -one that will touch them in so many ways with lessons learned for a lifetime.
So remember the long term goals as a parent and remember as a teacher to thank your parents and realize they are part of the learning triangle that makes your job and their children’s success possible.
Too Connected?
March 11th, 2011I had a heart-to-heart talk with a student this week. She is feeling overwhelmed. Instead of feeling isolated from her friends she is on Facebook and texting constantly. She feels it is her “duty” to help out her friends with their homework and with their personal problems. She spends so much time listening and counseling that there is no time left- she’s best friends with everyone but herself.
My solution for the moment: stay off Facebook, put the phone away for two hours a day, and have some “ME” time. Practice, do homework, take a walk, and eat some ice cream while watching a funny movie. The new technology that can bring us closer together can become a burden.
Forever Friends?
January 3rd, 2011I was at a New Year’s Eve wedding when I literally bumped into a former student. Usually when I see a former student they act so delighted to see me and I get lots of heart-felt hugs but this student had always been a little more cool and she seemed happy to see me but not more. It got me thinking about our previous relationship and teacher-student relationships in general. These relationships can be so important while the student is taking lessons. What a wonderful opportunity we have to get to know each other with a once-a-week meeting for many years. Sometimes these students feel like my best friends and I can’t imagine my life without them and I know many feel the same way about me but when the lessons cease the relationship goes into a kind of limbo. Most students keep in contact for a little while, some you never hear from again, and there are the few who become part of your life for years. It’s a lot like having close neighbors or getting to know the parents of the kids on your child’s sports teams. You can form a strong bond and be a part of each other’s daily life until you move on. Though we may still care about those people lives change and we are left with good memories and the knowledge that we have affected each other’s lives forever.
Music Lasts A Lifetime
December 20th, 2010Last night my husband Don and I took the two grandmas to the Village Theatre production of Anne of Green Gables. It was a fantastic show and the grandmas loved it. My mother who has some memory problems was as alert as I’ve seen her in years- hanging onto every word and note and laughing at all the stage action. It’s hard to find something these days that can hold her attention but the musical did it.
Several years ago when I had thyroid cancer I had to be off the thyroid pills for weeks. Your thyroid regulates your temperature, your energy, and your brain. I could hardly walk or talk BUT I could teach flute lessons! Even when I was in the hospital and could barely sit up much less focus on anything I listened to the radio and could hear every nuance just like when I’m “normal.” I’ve read that many people with psychiatric problems still retain their ability to remember and connect with music. How lucky we musicians and music lovers are to have music throughout our life!
Generations
December 9th, 2010Last Saturday I attended a concert of the University of Washington freshman flute class. There were four students and three had been my students. How fun (and odd!) it was to see them on stage playing so beautifully- and I had nothing to do with it. But then maybe I did. Their teacher, Donna Shin was a former student of mine. So in reality, I was watching two generations of my students perform. Donna had a baby this summer. As I was holding baby Noah I wondered, maybe I will get to be his teacher too! I’ve taught two “grandchildren” before-children of former students. Even if you don’t have a direct lineage from student to student we music teachers still create a legacy for generations to come. We teach our students who fall in love with music and want to share it with their children who share it with their children who share it..
Tradition
November 30th, 2010Thanksgiving week is over. I hosted twelve people for dinner including my 91-year-old mother, 96-year-old uncle, 90-yer-old mother-in-law, 80-year-old family friend and some more relatives. Every year it is basically the same people and the same turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, salad, homemade rolls and three kinds of pie. It’s tradition and it is my job now as the dinner host to preserve it.
And that’s also our job as music teachers. We are all descendants of Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, and all the composers we teach who came before us. We are passing down to our students the tradition, history, and preserving culture for generations to come. (Now pass the pie.)