I had a tough day last Thursday. One of my students who has been with me for five years didn’t show up at her lesson. When I called her parents to see where she was they said, “Oh, we’ve moved to Montana.” I knew she was going to move but we had been planning a little good-bye recital and I was looking forward to a final hug to wish her well. What a shock! They said they had been too busy to call me or come over and it had slipped their mind. Wow. Saying goodbye to a student I’ve taught for 5 wonderful years wouldn’t have slipped my mind.
But life goes on. We had a great time while it lasted and she has a good foundation for whatever she wants to do in the future. We can’t keep in contact with all of our former students or we wouldn’t have time to do anything else but email!
But here’s a bit of advice if you are going to leave your teacher-for whatever reason. Give her warning. Make a plan for a lovely last lesson where you can talk about all the good times you’ve had. Bringing a present and a card is a great idea. And never forget that final hug.
I remember the shock I felt when I received my first (regrettably not the last) “quitting lessons” email. Anger was my first response, and then I realized it was because I was hurt and disappointed. Like you Bonnie, this was a student I’d had for over 5 years, and while I knew piano was not her top priority I was still surprised.
Music teachers are not like others who are hired for a task – we must reach into a student’s life to find and bring forth their abilities and talents. To lose a student and not be given the opportunity for a personal good-bye — to have no closure to the relationship — is difficult to say the least.
We have an unusual relationship-that of the teacher and student. Best friends for years then nothing sometimes after. It would be impossible to remain in contact with all our former students but closure at the end of the lessons is important to everyone.